You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
