I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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