She said her name was "party"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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