Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
