So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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