so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
