I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
