I'm laying in your front yard are you home
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
