and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
