Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
NoShamevember. You game?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
