so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
