Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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