can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
