i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
