My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
