I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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