with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize