I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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