You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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