Porn is love you can see.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
