You're so nebulous sometimes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize