Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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