Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
