i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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