I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
