Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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