Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize