so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize