Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Houston, we have a squirter
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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