If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My dick has a subreddit
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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