You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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