And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
