She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
is it fun? or sober?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
