They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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