we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
