sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
