Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
