Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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