on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
