Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Betty ford says i'm here all night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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