As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
