life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Buhtt sex?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
