Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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