I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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