How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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