I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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