I hate your face
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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