I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize