I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
