What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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