Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
