Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
