Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
