i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
