haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
