Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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