No, you can still breathe under the balls.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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