drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
