The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
