my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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