i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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